Top Ten Things I'd Like To See at the Jake Tonight

Due to the fact that the Red Sox started off the season at a .700 clip, and then rather casually swept the Angels in the ALDS, there haven't been many must-win games for them this season. Really, none...until tonight, when they're staring down a 1-3 pit if they don't put up a W. The chances of taking the series get exponentially smaller otherwise, and don't be telling me it's all good because look what happened in '04, either. Part of what makes '04 legendary is that most of the time, huge comebacks don't happen.

So, without further ado, here is the Top Ten Things I'd Like To See at the Jake Tonight:

10. A deluge of epic proportions. Hey, it worked in '04, right?

9.  Coco Crisp remember what a bat is used for when you have it in your hands during a baseball game.

8.  When that comes back to him, I'd like to see him give a tutorial on the same to Julio Lugo, J.D. Drew, Jason Varitek, and Dustin Pedroia.

7. If it doesn't come back to him in short order-say, between now and strike one tonight-then let's put him at the top of the order in the form of Jacoby Ellsbury (I love you, Coco, but 7-1 is killing this team right now). 

6.  A home plate umpire who realizes that the strike zone doesn't extend to Lake Erie or China. Eric Gagne has a pair of glasses he won't be using anytime soon, Ump. Why don't you go grab those?

5.  The Paul Byrd of August 11, not October 9.

4.  Kenny Lofton forget to take his Geritol.

3.  No innings where six pitches total are thrown by Indians pitching. For a team known for it's plate discipline, that was murder.

2.  A mass pickpocket of those fucking towels.

And the #1 thing I'd like to see at the Jake tonight...?

1. A Jonathan Papelbon happy dance.    

Today is a new day. Good vibes to Tim. Go get 'em, Tiger.