A Red Sox State of Maine

What Have You Done With Jon Lester?!?!?

You know what Toronto fans were thinking last night: "Man, why can't we hit this guy? He sucks! Everybody else in the league has taken him to the woodshed, and our team can't hit him with a belt! What the hell?"

I tend to be less enthusiastic about so-called "pitcher's duels" than most fans and certainly most media types-IMO 99x out of 100 it's a reflection on the performance of the offense, and not necessarily because the pitcher is throwing unhittable stuff. Last night was an absolutely perfect example of that. With both pitchers on their games, throwing to two teams who are struggling with the bat, it makes for the perfect storm of no offense from either side. Still, Jon Lester did a great job-lots more first pitch strikes than we're used to seeing from him-and gave us another tantalizing view of why he's still in the rotation. If you can do that once, Jon, you can do it more than once. C'mon, kid. Spit in the face of my skepticism. Make me proud.

Roy Halliday pitched his fourth complete game with nothing to show for it. He must be getting pissed, and I'm surprised, with all that yak about pitch counts and innings, that the Blue Jays have allowed that to happen. There was a mini conversation on Baseball Tonight (borne of the speculation as to whether there would ever be another 20-strikeout performance in the majors) about the way teams handle pitchers these days. I could have kissed Kruk when he said, in essence, "It won't happen because they're [pitchers] all too worried about pitch counts and how many innings and quality starts and all that crap." Schilling has said the same thing in the past. In other words, pitchers and coaches are far too dictated by the artificiality of numbers. They don't know how they feel until they know how much they've thrown, and the result of that is that the big leagues are raising a crop of six inning starters these days-whether that's good or bad for the pitchers themselves is debatable, but IMO it certainly takes away some of the drama from the game and raises the specter of what doctors call "cookbook medicine"-apply the same treatment to everybody regardless as to how the condition is actually affecting them. No young pitcher (and the definition of "young" seems to get pushed back every season) can throw more than 95 pitches a game or 180 innings a year no matter what. The biggest example of this I can point to is during Clay Buchholz's no hitter last year-there was actually talk of pulling him from the game because of the number of pitches he had thrown. I'm sorry, but this is a game with long stretches of tedium that makes it's reputation on moments like that. Sometimes the future is now, and if the arm of a 23 year old is going to be ruined forever while throwing a few extra pitches in the process of making history then maybe he's just not durable enough anyway, and maybe you have made him that way.

My overall opinion, knowing absolutely nothing about player development? Thye're cultivating a league of wusses, at least on the pitcher side. And that's the point Kruk was making. 

How did I get off on that tangent? Oh, yeah, Halladay. Did you catch the camera shot on him after Wells bobbled the last ball? You could actually read his lips: "Are you fucking kidding me?" (Reminded me of John Lackey last year muttering to himself about Fenway, "I hate this fucking place.").....Tough break, Doc. Better luck next time-against another team.

A win is a win, and a walk-off win is an even better one. Props to Dustin Pedroia for saving a run and Kevin Youkilis for finally generating one, and to Jon Lester for quieting us all down for a little while. The Sox will still have to face some decent pitching upcoming, but let's hope this squeaker gives them some momentum going forward. Dice-K, just out of the intensive care unit, goes for #5 tonight.

GO SOX!!! AN EXPLOSION OF RUNS TONIGHT!!!!

What About Roger?

"Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News."-NY Daily News, 4/28/08

Sheesh. Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?

In the interest of fairness, it should be noted that the Daily News-never a paragon of journalistic integrity and most days just a scintilla above the Post-reported these allegations citing "unnamed sources," reporterspeak for "it's too good not to go with but I've got nothing on record to back it up." But team Clemens has already issued a denial that soundes very much like "he didn't do it but just in case he did do it it isn't relevant to the case at hand":

Roger Clemens' lawyer Rusty Hardin, speaking for Clemens, denied that his client's long-term relationship with country singer Mindy McCready involved sex.

"But Hardin also emphasized that an affair would be irrelevant to the defamation suit his client has filed against Brian McNamee, the trainer who accused Clemens of using steroids and human growth hormone."

"I think it's totally irrelevant to the issue of whether Brian McNamee is telling the truth about Roger using human growth hormone and steroids," said Hardin. "The character trait that you put in issue should be the character trait that the defamatory statement was made about."

In other words, character can be compartmentalized-just because I'm a serial rapist doesn't mean I pass bad checks, too, or kick my dog. Well, good luck with that one, Rusty. Maybe your client just misremembers...but even if he remembers it crystally clear, he is at least guilty of one of the most incredible lapses of judgment in the history of the world. Christ, Roger, what the hell are people supposed to think when a wealthy 30 year old man takes a pretty teenager to Vegas in his private plane, or sends her wads of cash? That he was interested in her talents as a babysitter?

What an idiot. At least Margo Adams was of age.

All this brings me back to something I've been thinking about for a very long time now: Roger Clemens' relationship to the Boston Red Sox and their fans. What, exactly, is the nature of that relationship? Estranged lovers? Mortal enemies? I only ask because I've been mulling over the thorny issue of Clemens' #21-why, if the relationship is destroyed beyond all repair, are the Sox still jealously guarding that number as if it were plated in gold? Even before he was outed as a confirmed drug user and now as a possible pedophile, Roger Clemens was very upfront about the fact that he simply had no interest in reconciling with the Red Sox-he has repeatedly rebuffed the team's efforts at outreach, preferring, instead, to return "home" to Yankee Stadium and it's bottomless money pit for his shot at another ring in what he must have known was his last big league season.  So why the charade, clinging to the number on the jersey like a war bride who wears her ring and still waits for her MIA soldier husband to walk through the door over a decade later? 

I think part of it is that the team knows whomever is christianed as the new bearer of the 21 is going to truly bearing the burden of history, and may simply be crushed under the weight of it. It's really too bad that Josh Beckett had to give up his #21 when he came to the Red Sox, because he is one guy whom the number would not intimidate and in fact would probably just motivate. But maybe it shouldn't be a pitcher. A position player-not an Ellsbury or Lowrie upon whom a lot of hope rests-but a guy for whom there would really be no big expectations for performance? That seems to make more sense. Sean Casey, an easygoing and intelligent guy, probably would have been a good candidate. Journeyman, first baseman, been around and would not feel the weight of the nation on his shoulders. Someone like that.

In any event, a little ceremony must be performed before the number is again allowed to grace another member of the team after so many years. Late at night, in the dark of the clubhouse, have an old Irish priest with a heart condition take the jersey, sprinkle some little holy water and repeat "The power of Christ compels you!" until Captain Howdy's-er, Roger Clemens'-spirit has been exorcised from the shirt and thus the psyche of the Boston Red Sox. Then find some innocent and assign him the number, to little fanfare. It's time-in fact, t's beyond time for the Red Sox and their fans to extend their arms, open their hands, and let Roger Clemens' ghost go.

Disgraceful

I'm so disgusted right now I could spit bullets. A two-hit shutout, in Tampa Bay?

Jesus H. tapdancing Christ on a cross, I have truly seen it all now. Breeze through the Indians, Yanks and Tigers, only to get tripped up by the lowly Rays. Every single member of the Boston Red Sox who even held a bat over this weekend should be completely, overwhelmingly embarrassed by his perfomance-and I'm talking Michigan vs Appy State-level embarrassment here. And both pitchers who spun beauties should go up and give them all a resounding kick in the ass, including David Ortiz for that stupid head-first dive on Friday. Memo to the Red Sox: You will have NO CHANCE at winning the AL east crown if you continue getting swept in division rival's parks. And don't give me any of that "tip your cap to the Rays for a great performance and move on" bullshit. I'm not in the mood. Christ, the Sox could've dug up Dag Hammarskjöld and gotten better swings out of him than they did Kevin Youkilis in this series.

In the meantime, the Yankees beat Cleveland 1-0 this afternoon. As pathetic as their offense is right now, it's still a hell of a lot better than the Red Sox has been over the past few games.

Crap. I think it's probably a very good thing that Monday is an off day. 

Francona Has Growing Respect for Rays

...screams the headline, and he damned well should. They've kicked his ass for two straight games now.

These guys who, less than a week ago, looked like they would never lose again are now looking like they'll never win again. What the hell is going on here? I'll tell you one thing that surely is: the Sox are trying to break the spirit of their rookie pitchers, and find a different way to do it each time. Justin Masterson spins a beauty Thursday and the bullpen throws it right back in his face. Last night, Clay Buchholz throws a three-hitter and makes only one mistake, and the lineup can't pick him up. Final score 2-1, and Buchholz had a one-hitter going into the 8th. Nice job supporting your rookie, guys-not.

Grrrr. Injuries and the flu really starting to catch up with them? Maybe. It doesn't help at all that Sean Casey is now on the 15 day DL, or that David Ortiz is nursing a bruised knee (when did that happen? Before or after the 0-for-6?) Josh Beckett, recovering from the flu himself, is now forced back into the role of stopper, although he couldn't possibly do much better than Buchholz did in his try. You know Beckett will give them a solid outing. The bats had better wake up today if the Sox want to avoid an embarrassing sweep.

It was a bad night all around to be a Boston fan. Not only do the Sox fall flat, but the Celtics played embarrassingly bad basketball against the sub-.500 Hawks (prompting a mini-rant from Tommy Heinsohn at halftime), missing their opportunity to sweep and make a definitive statement about who is really the team to beat this playoff year. Nice going, guys. Just capital.

On the bright side, the Pats march towards their latest SB began in earnest yesterday, as they made their first couple of choices in the NFL draft. Once again, they showed they put value on different qualities in players than other teams do. Pick smart first, the rest will follow, and thus far you can't argue with the results. After the guy they probably initially had their eye on, Vernon Gholston, had the extreme misfortune being drafted at #6 by the Jets (probably an ultimate career-derailer for him, poor guy), the Pats traded down and ended up with a linebacker from Tennessee named Jerod Mayo-and it'll be nice to have someone line up at the position who is not eligible for Medicare. In the second round they took a CB named Terrence Wheatley, a guy said to be in the "Asante Samuel mode." They have three third-round picks today, which is where you can really find undervalued and diamond in the rough guys. Maybe even the next Curtis Martin, or, if they hold out long enough, Tom Brady...

On a personal note, I was able to listen to the ESPN goons yap about being "three minutes away from an undefeated season" yesterday without wanting to kill myself, so I'm on the mend as well.

Positive vibes for Josh and the bats today. We need some good news up north here yonder!

Tim Wakefield is Like a Box of Chocolates

You never know what you're going to get.

Usually, he doesn't completely suck...except, of course, when he does. It is absolutely painful to watch him when he is off his game-either long balls, which was the problem against Texas, or walk after walk after walk, which was the problem last night. He has 17 free passes in 31 innings this year, which doesn't seem that bad until you realize in seven innings he didn't walk any of the Rangers because apparently none of them ever saw a first pitch they didn't like. Not to mention the nightmare that was Kevin Cash behind the plate last night (1-800-54-DOUG? Although Cash did have a great night with the bat). Not to mention the fact that Wake leads the league in stolen bases against, which isn't surprising, considering the runner has time to order out and receive a pizza in between the time the ball leaves Tim's hand and the time it makes the plate-and that's when he throwing his fastball. Memo to Tim: Five walks in six innings-eleven baserunners all totalled-is not going to get the job done. I know you're cheap and you supposedly eat up innings. Now lets' try to add good pitching to that arsenal, shall we? Thanks.

It was heartening to see the bullpen perform relatively well after Thursday's meltdown (which, thankfully, I was unavailable to view or I probably would have had a stroke). David Aardsma is turning into a nice addition in middle relief. Mike Timlin should be reserved for mop-up duty at this point-he may yet come back to form, but each year the recovery time gets longer and right now he is just killing this team.

Papi and Manny looked pathetic, too, especially in the late innings. What the hell was that, you guys? You don't get paid to get outs in those situations. You get paid to produce. Just in case you needed more salt to rub into your wounds, David Ortiz is leading the league in GIDP.

As an aside, I really like the Rays' new uniforms-a ray of sunshine, punctuated on the sleeve by a little devil ray. Very precious. I approve. Although as a commenter at one site noted, "The R is blatantly stolen from Ruby Tuesday's." I'm not a fan of Ruby Tuesday's, or any restaurant chains, really. Too bad the R didn't look like the one at Ruski's or something...

Flu or no flu, three losses in a row is about all my constitution can stand before I start getting snarky in a Shaughnessy way. Let's right this ship tonight, shall we, fellas? The Rays and Clay gee their first look at each other at the Trop at 7:10pm. Here's what our great white hope had to say about his competition:

"This whole team is full of good players, and they've been a team that can sort of jump out and beat anybody."

Yeah, those Texas boys are quote machines, aren't they? Add a snarl and a few "motherfuckers" in there and you've got vintage Josh Beckett. Who cares, though, as long as they can pitch!

GO SOX! GO CLAY!

Rx for Defeat

The Red Sox clubhouse is evidently becoming a M*A*S*H unit. Beckett, Delcarmen, Varitek, and now Dice-K all unavailable over the last few days because of the flu. Jon Lester picked up the slack on three days' rest, giving us essentially the same performance he does on four days' rest. I can't believe that if he doesn't pick it up and soon, the unusually restrained Fenway boobirds are not going to make an appearance. Still, it's hard to complain too strenuously this time-he gave the team five innings of work that meant they didn't have to run Julian Tavarez out there, so thanks for that, Jon.

Even down, they almost came back again. Papi's HR tied it at 4-4, but Craig Hansen promptly gave it back in the person of Casey Hotchman, and this time K-Rod held them. Well, you can't win them all. Really. You can't. Not even at home.

Word is that Coco will be ready to play today, and my suggestion is that JD Drew sit out this one. For all his hot first couple of weeks, he's been colder than Dick Cheney's heart on this homestand. Coco in center, Ellsbury in right is my prediction for tonight.

Now, the rest of you-wash your hands! Cover your mouths! And if you're sick, STAY HOME!!!!!

Meet NESN's New Ring Girl

"Have you seen her? She's hot! Who cares of she knows baseball, I know baseball, I don't need her to tell me anything, just to stand there and look pretty!"-a poster on Inside Track, verbally ejaculating over the news that Heidi Watney will be NESN's new sideline reporter during Red Sox games.

Which pretty much sums up why I think sideline reporters are a waste of oxygen. Do you think Jerry Remy or Don Orsillo got their jobs because of their hotness quotient? Or Jon Miller? Or Michael Kay? Hardly. But I've yet to see a single female sports reporter who didn't have some beauty queen title behind her (except maybe Suzyn Waldman, but she's on radio). It's clearly a BFOQ. You may as well have this chick sashay around the bases in a bikini and stilettos holding up a placard that says "Inning 1," "Inning 2," etc., because that's essentially the function she's going to serve.

It's sickening and sexist, but I have to say Red is perfectly within bounds when he says, "In six months, she'll be seen flitting about town with (or, as the French say, "banging") Jacoby Ellsbury. Trust me on this one." Normally a remark like that would piss me off, but it's become crystal clear that this is exactly the type of image sports outlets want viewers to have of these women. Otherwise, why not hire Candy Crowley or Andrea Mitchell?

You couldn't leave well enough alone. Horrible job, NESN.

The Beat Goes On

Another day, another comeback victory. Really, what more can one ask for as a Sox fan? Reminds me of '03 and '04, when every win seemed to be come-from-behind.

(Oh, and Josh? Scratched because of a stiff neck? I wake up with a stiff neck every morning! What the hell is that? I loved Remy's spin about how a stiff neck could lead to a serious arm injury, but still. Please.)

There are some victories that make me happier than others, and I admit, beating the California, er, Anaheim, er, Los Angeles Angels is one of those. Not quite up there with beating the Yankee or the Colts, but definitely better than beating the Indians or Royals. The fact that the Angels in past years have owned the Yankees probably plays into it, as well as the nasty chip on the shoulder the organization has that comes with being an afterthought to the the Dodgers (even former Angel Remy admits disliking the Dodgers franchise for that reason), but really I think it's more that their fanbase is currently represented by whiny jerks who complain morning and night about how "sick" they are of NY and Boston teams and how nobody outside of the northern Atlantic seacoast gets their due. All this coming from one of the largest metropolitan areas in the country that couldn't even support their NFL franchise! LA and the surrounding areas are simply suffering from a sports-induced inferiority complex, they spare no expense broadcasting it, and it gets old.

Of course, that will end immediately if the Lakers win another NBA title. Like most sensible fans, I hate the Lakers, so we must pray most fervently that does not happen. We must especially pray that it does not happen at the expense of the Celtics. Go Green!

Dice goes for #5 tonight, on pace to win-what-30 games? Against the hot-and-cold Jon Garland. Let's hope no comeback will be necessary tonight...

Heard this on NPR this morning, a story about vintage baseball leagues popping up around the country. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

The Bronx Zoo Revisited

It would seem we are approaching the renaissance of a Steinbrenner heyday, at war with and about to fire a manager every other day or so. For those of you too young or otherwise too new to the game to remember the managerial go-round that defined the early Steinbrenner years, I give you the principle players in the drama, Steinbrenner Sr and Billy Martin:

Not So Deep Thoughts

Drive-by posting this morning, as I'm already late...

SWEEEEP! Nice!

Great job, Bruins! You've got absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, you showed a ton of heart, and may have revived some interest in the game in this town.

I was perusing the Rangers' fanboard, where there are some calls for Ron Washington's head. I've never understood how a manager can be held responsible for crappy pitching, but that's just me, I giess.

I vaguely recall being worried about this stretch of the schedule, thinking if the Sox were at the .500 mark coming out of April that would be a good thing. Well, they've done a lot better than that, and next on the docket, the LAA Angels. The Angels are no pushover, but they've not played especially well at Fenway, and their own version of loser punk Jered Weaver is on the mound tonight.

What's the over/under on how soon Mr. Hanky fires Cashman and/or Girardi? I'll give Cash to the end of the season before he's handed his hat or commits suicide. Hanky's not a complete fool, though. He knows an ace when he sees one: "We need a Beckett, we don't have one," he complained to reporters. 

Let's go Joshua! Show 'em October was no fluke!