Diversions

No baseball last night, so I've got to fill the space with something, right? Well, here's a good start to the day...I hope you've already eaten breakfast:

The deepest, darkest secret harbored by the New York Yankees first baseman is that whenever he is in a prolonged hitting funk, he wears a gold lamé, tiger-stripe thong under his uniform. "I only put it on when I'm desperate to get out of a big slump," he confides.
   
Over Giambi's checkered career in the Bronx, he has left the "golden thong" in the lockers of slumping teammates Derek Jeter, Bernie Williams, Johnny Damon, Robin Ventura, and Robinson Cano. "All of them wore it and got hits," he reports. "The thong works every time."

Makes you wonder why Giambi turned to the juice at all when you've got this type of a magic bullet, although covering up the golden banana with the golden thong doesn't quite seem to have the magic it used to these days. Giambi's line as of this morning is .341/.438/.181.

Ted Kennedy dismissed Arlen Specter's call for an independent investigation into the NFL and Spygate:

"With the war in Iraq raging on, gasoline prices closing in on $4 a gallon, and Americans losing their homes at record rates to foreclosure, the United States Senate should be focusing on the real problems that Americans are struggling with. I'm looking forward to another great Patriots season, where they can let their play on the field speak for itself."

Kennedy (D-MA), of course, is on the same judiciary committee as Specter, as is Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI). The committee itself is chaired by my favorite senator, Patrick Leahy (D-VT). Do you think there's a snowball's chance in hell this committee takes up Spygate? Not only are there three likely Patriots' fans here, (including the boss), they'll also get to use this for political purposes, to mock and ridicule the out-of-touch Republicans while the country is crashing and burning. Bravo, guys! Thanks, Sen. Specter!

Here's Belichick to Couric last night, talking about Baron Munchhausen, er, Matt Walsh:

"You know, he's tried to make it seem like we're buddies, and belong to the same book club and all. That's really a long, long stretch.''

This makes me laugh because I somehow can't picture Belichick sitting around a kitchen table with a group of women, drinking lemonade and iced tea, reading A Room With a View or Empire Falls, and I don't think Walsh knows how to read much more than his name.

Sox get stuck playing a twinbill after being rained out last night, and forcing me to watch most of the lousy Celtics' game. This is getting old, guys, although if they continue the way they're going-win every game at home while losing every game on the road-they'll still win the championship. It's past time to put King James and his idiotic mother on ice for another season, gentlemen. Actually, LeBron deserves a trophy just for putting up with her all these years...

Comments

[Alexa]

Sharing a thong? That is the grossest thing I've heard in a long time! I think sharing toothbrushes would be less repulsive. They make so much money, can't they each get their own skanky animal print underwear?

[Lisa K.]

All the money in the world can't buy you luck!