A Red Sox State of Maine

Gray Skies Are Gonna Clear Up...

...Oh, fuck that. After the most disheartening loss of the season, the team flirting with (and may have) the worst road record in the American League, there's nothing I'm happy about right now, and I'm just about to do my best impression of anchorman Bill O'Reilly...

First of all, there's nothing I hate more than that tired, cliche-ish "tip your cap to..." whoever just ate your lunch. I'm a poor loser. I don't "tip my cap" to anybody. I let it sit in my craw and stew and eat me alive until the next time, 'cuz that's the kind of girl I am. Let's retire that statement, shall we?

Second...I don't think I have any words to describe what happened to MDC and Craig Hansen last night. At the halfway point, it's becoming clear that while there are good outings to be had, there is no one-outside of Papelbon, who hasn't seen work for about a week now, and who has had a few issues of his own-who you can be depended to hold a lead (yay Oki for having a decent outing after Dice-K went his usual five and out). Our starters are just going to have to pitch complete games every outing. That's just the way it is, guys. Unless you want to watch everything you've worked for go up in smoke...oh, but we get Mike Timlin back for the Yankee series. Yay. That makes me feel a lot better.

At what point does Jason Varitek's poor offensive production outweigh his mythic ability to "call a game?" The man is on his way to having a worse year than Julio Lugo's inaugural season. I mean, he struck out three times last night, and I don't remember his last good at-bat. Yes, I know he has a majestic butt as well, but that only cuts it when I get to watch it sailing around the bases, not turning around and walking away from the plate towards the dugout for the third time.

I was watching something stupid-a FOX baseball show, I think-last weekend when Mark Gubicza said that he expected the Yankees to surprise, maybe sweep, the Sox in the stadium. I was mad at the time. Now I think winning one game there would be a gift...of course, the Yanks have had their own problems with production and bullpen issues as well. Melky Cabrera is something like 0-for-19, and St. Riviera took a loss the other night as well. Of course, yesterday they scored eighteen times, so go figure.

Battle of lefties tonight, as Lester goes up against Andy "thanks for the juice, Dad!" Pettitte

Pick yourself up,,,,dust yourself off...

Oh, shut up.

Crabby Quick Takes

This post is dedicated to griping about everything that has gone wrong with the Red Sox the past couple of days. If that's not your thing, I suggest you come back tomorrow when I might be in a better mood...or not.

1. This team is appallingly bad on the road. I know that their overall record is similar to last year's at this time, but that's only because they have been-until the last homestand-amazingly good at home. With the halfway point here, I'm going to say this trend has to reverse itself and soon. I don't look for the return of David Ortiz to be the sparkplug here, either, because this trend began 'way before he got hurt.

2. Jacoby Ellsbury is becoming this year's J.D. Drew. If I see him trying to pull another pitch down the right field line and ending up bouncing a grounder to short....well, I may just have to stick pins in my eyes.

3. Julio Lugo is thirty-six million dollars worth of useless. What was Tito thinking? Anybody? Buellar?

4. I'm Manny Ramirez' biggest defender in the world, but it's hard to be cool with him knocking over a 65-year-old man over something as insignificant as tickets. What the hell is the matter with him this year, anyway? First he comes to camp yapping about how much he loves us, then he gets into a brawl with Youk in front of God and everybody...and now he attacks a senior citizen? This is not a Manny moment, and there's nothing amusing about it. I know since the hated Shaughnessy wrote a column about it that a lot of people will use that as proof that Manny is again being victimized, but I don't think so. Manny's 36 years old, a first ballot HOFer, and he needs to grow up. I know if he knocked down my elderly dad (which would be a neat trick, since Dad's been dead a few years now) I would be very slow to forgive.

I will also tell you something else: Randy Moss knows better than to pull that shit.

Wake is starting tonight at 7:05p the Trop, a place where he used to be automatic but that's not such a sure thing anymore. RHe'll be opposed by Matt Garza, who's been doing great since he got a grip.

See you then.

What a Waste

You know, this pitching staff is starting to remind me of when you get a new puppy, and at first she can't do anything right, pees all over the floor. You work hard to train her and for ten straight days, there's nothing in the house and she does all her business outside like she's supposed to. You give her lots of praise and puppy love, and the eleventh morning...great big stinking pile of poo all over the floor. Arrggghh.

What the hell was that? What a huge waste of a great offensive performance, which have been few and far between on the road this season. You know, when you score ten runs-even when you score five-on most days, that's enough to win. But I guess Lester and Aardsma and MDC decided that wasn't a challenge enough and colluded to set the bar even higher. Sheesh. You guys give me four runs? Fine, I'll see your four and raise you one. You score five runs in the sixth? Fine, we'll come right back in the seventh and eighth with five more. It was like an ugly cat-and-mouse game, and time finally ran out for the Red Sox.

Well, I must say, as bad as he was, I'd rather watch Jon Lester lose that way than the way he was previously, fussing, diddling around, taking an hour between pitches. He still worked at a pretty good clip, just wasn't getting his pitches across. Oh, well. Maybe a few days of media abuse will get him righted around. Same w/MDC.

Oh, Dustin and Mike? You have permission to line up and bitch slap the entire pitching staff for their ingratitude. Why bother going 4-for-4 when no one appreciates it?

Beckett vs Moehler at 2pm. Let's get the train back on the track before the big trips to Tampa (still can't get used to thinking of Tampa as a threat) and NY.

Nothin' Could Be Finer Than To Wake Up With a Shiner in the Mornin'

And just like that, the Sox are 1-3 on this homestand, against the NL whom they supposedly own. Man, this is not going as scripted at all.

You knew it was going to end up in the L column when Youk took that warm up toss to the face, right? A shiner from a warm up toss? What an indignity. Poor Youk doesn't even get to wear it as a battle scar, a wicked hop off the bat of Eric Byrnes or anything. Nope. he got it because he missed a soft toss before the start of the fifth inning.

"Wow, Youk, that guy must have hit a screamer, huh?"

(Youk, sotto voce) 

"Ummm, well, we weren't even really playing when this happened...it was between innings..."

Sheesh. Survives the Rays' brawl, but gets injured playing catch. And because Sean Casey was cooling his heels as a result of his participation in said brawl, we were treated to Brandon Moss at first base. Whose fielding error led to the winning run. Fabulous. Poetic justice, some would say. I just say it sucked.

Of course, Brandon's error wouldn't've mattered so much if the Sox had anything going with their bats. Yes, I know Dan Haren is a good pitcher, but he's not that good-no one is as good as these Red Sox have the ability to make you look when they are on an offensive slide. My dog Maddie could blow a four seamer by them when they are sucking like this, and she's only ten pounds and barely knows her name. It also was an aggravating waste of anothe rbeautiful pitching job by Beckett, who is starting to get back on track and has thus far had a pretty frustrating season-pitch like crap, get a win; pitch really well, get a loss or an ND. This is the third time this year Beckett has given up 2 runs or less and got the loss. 

And while I'm happy that Jacoby Ellsbury is in the lineup and creating havoc on the basepaths and playing a good outfield, can we now all admit he is not yet the second coming of Rickey Henderson? After all the "he's gonna hit .350 and be a monster!" hype of last year, at nearly the halfway point this season he is hitting-just as I predicted-.276, w/a .368 OBP.

Thank you in advance for saying, "you were right."  

Ok, let's get that fenway magic back tonight. The D'Backs can't hit, and hopefully the Sox can take advantage of that w/Masterson and Doug Davis facing each other. Oh, and Doug? Glad you're doing better, buddy. But let's have a happy feel good story on someone else's dime, k?

Bizarro World...

...af Fenway Park, when:

-Dice-K is a stiff and Joel Piniero an ace...

-the Sox lead off three innings with doubles and come up snake eyes...

-Jonathan Papelbon blows two saves in a little over a week (I'd hate to be one of those Gator Aid coolers after that)

-Terry Francona brings in a raw rookie with the bases loaded and nobody out. Out of everything I saw this weekend, that was far and away the most bizarre. If course, the kid gave up the slam, putting the Sox hopelessly behind, although he settled down very nicely after that. Helllloooo, Tito? Does the name "Cla Meredith" mean nothing to you?

-I actually admit I was wr....wr....wrong (there, I said it!) about anything. I've been pretty hard on Jon Lester over the past couple of years, primarily because, well, frankly, he sucked. I thought his downtrodden demeanor, his "kick me" aura, his maddening tentativeness, was a permanent part of his makeup and would forever dog him and define his career. Well, it's looking more and more like that just isn't the xase. He threw a beauty yesterday, since the early part of the season has been one of the most reliable guys on the mound frankly-getting ahead and working quickly, and just showing some confidence, which he wasn't doing in years 1 & 2- and I'm thrilled to say I was the one mistaken this time. Good job, Jon! Keep it up. 

Although I'm pissed off that they lost 2/3 in Fenway, at least they didn't lose any ground in the standings. The Yanks lost 2/3 to the Reds, and the Rays lost yesterday to the Astros (I still can't get used to worrying about Tampa Bay, and btw, anybody else think Giambi has found some undetectable designer 'roids out there? Or is it just a contract year thing?) I'm really not worried that this is a harbinger of things to come for Dice-K-I'm sure he'll bounce back-but I admit to being concerned for the long term effectiveness of Hideki Okajima, and I'm really hoping this deries doesn't portend a long offensive slide for the Sox. It's not going to get any easier facing Dan Haren tonight, that's for sure, although thankfully they won't have to face Brandon Webb (who, incidentally got pounded by the Twins yesterday, proving nobody's perfect) The D'Backs are struggling to score runs too, so let's take advantage of that, guys. Kick 'em when they're down, so to speak.

Beckett vs Haren, 7:05pm at the Fens.

GO SOX!!! TWO IN A ROW!!!!

Manny D and Paps: An Ode to Okajima?

Is that the problem lately? The rain?

Well, it's as good an excuse as any...but I miss the '07 Oki!

Back to Reality

Ok, the Red Sox have now remembered that they cannot score on the road, although admittedly they were up against one of the best pitchers in the NL and, well, let's just say I've resumed shoveling dirt on Mike Timlin. Or putting him out to stud, whichever visual you prefer. (Oh, well. Either one would give him more time to hit animals with large arrows and watch them slowly bleed to death.) Bartolo Colon didn't have a bad outing if you don't count those, um, three yard balls and that embarrassing pseudo home run cut. Then he leaves the game with an injury due to said cut? I've said it before and I'll say it again: pitchers hitting is for the fuckin' birds. For once, Hanky and I are in agreement, although his rant only ensures the NL, just out of spite, will never change it's stance now. Besides, it doesn't seem like any competent athlete should tear up his foot running. Hint, Bartolo: Manny and the white hot J.D. Drew are coming up soon. Leave the mighty rips to the real sluggers, k? You just concentrate on Ryan Howard.   

Yes, it was an all-around crappy game. Glad to see Pedroia showing some signs of life, though-you knew he wasn't going to hit .150 forever. At least, you thought he wasn't.

It wasn't all bad news yesterday. Papi has his cast off and it looks like he will avoid surgery on that wrist (I bet he's glad-he's probably worried about J.D. Drew taking over the #3 spot permanently!) and it looks like Dice is doing well enough to come back this weekend! Yay! That will be a real shot in the arm to a team that's done really, really well piecemealing their pitching staff. I know I've been occasionally critical of Theo Epstein's sometimes maddeningly cautious-old maidish, to use a non-PC term-ways, but you really can't argue with the results.

Willie Randolph finally got the axe, which is good for him, really. I wouldn't want to be the leader of that amityville horror that the Mets have become (after the Yankees, the Mets are my least favorite franchise in MLB). He'll land somewhere better, if only because it would be hard to be any place worse. My guess is that the Mariners will have an open dugout position very soon...although it's hard to see how that could be a whole lot better than what he just left. Anyway, good luck, Willie. You seem like a decent guy...you know, for a Yankee.

Back to CBP tonight, Jon Lester vs. old friend Jamie Moyer (when I say old, I mean old-he's ten months older than I am). Manny should be psyched, considering he has absolutely owned Moyer in the past.

A Puzzlement

 I've been watching the Boston Red Sox play for 30 years, and I can't remember watching any team-at least, any good team-play a season with such disparity between the home and away games.  For years the Sox built their teams with powerful lineups-Yaz, Scott, Rice et al--that always performed better at home, but they also bashed on the road. Even as recent as the early lineups anchored by Manny and Ortiz, the 2003 group, still hit well on the road. This year it's astounding the difference at home and away. It's like two different teams, and boy, have they been wasting some nice pitching along the way, which is beyond aggravating, it's downright criminal. What the hell is going on here? I mean, the season is almost half over. Manny is not playing today, but honestly I can't see that it's going to matter all that much. Except maybe this time, they'll actually get no-hit.

Well, if I think too much about it I'll get really pissed, so I'll move on to some better news. My FFDD (Forever Favorite Dirt Dog) Trot Nixon is once again on a major league roster, having been dealt from the D'Backs minor league system to the Mets. I'm not the only one glad to see the Trotter back in the bigs-Pedro Martinez gave him a nice endorsement.

"I'll tell you what," Pedro said. "He can play for my team any day."

Mine, too, Pedro. Welcome back to the show, Trot! I'm sure you'll feel right at home in Shea, the only other place where they hate the Yankees as much as they do at Fenway.

Wusses

I'm talking about the NBA refs here, and you all know what I mean. The Greatest Coach Who Ever Lived (insert eye rolling emoticon here) rattles his sabers a little bit, and all of a sudden the Lakers get thirty-four free throws to Boston's twenty-two? Please! What a bunch of pansy-asses. Oooo, we can't have one team upset with us during the playoffs! We must even the score on the Lakers' home court! Assholes.

But even with the refs working against them, and Pierce in foul trouble, the Celtics kept coming back and made it a game all the way through. With 36 points, the whiny-ass Bryant was practically the whole show for the Lakers (see Dave's blog for Curt Schilling's courtside take on Bryant's behavior in Game 2). Lamar Odom and Gasol? No-shows. Ray Allen tried mightily to make up for the loss of Pierce, and a better game from Garnett and this game would have been in the bag. Oh, well. Game 4 Thursday.

Oh, and for all the people whining that the Patriots should "give back" the first Lombardi trophy because of unsubstantiated rumors...are you all willing to say that the Lakers should now give back the '02 O'Brien? Hmmmm? Let's not be hypocrites here, folks. Sen. Specter, I'd expect you to pursue this with the same zeal with which you went after Spygate...except you won't because neither Comcast nor the '76ers have anything to do with this...yet.

The Red Sox played a terrible game yesterday-at least, their pitchers did. What a freaking buzzkill, after the back-to-back jacks to go ahead. Remy's excuse-making notwithstanding, Josh Beckett simply needs to find a way to put it together more consistently (note to Tito: when he's been bad, Josh has been more than "a tick off") and Hideki Okajima should never be allowed to pitch to the Orioles again. I mean, c'mon guys! The Orioles are eleventh in the league with a .255 BA, but they're slapping the Sox around like they're Murderer's Row. On the bright side, I did enjoy Eddie Murray's visit to the dugout. But this morning I remain supremely irritated at the Sox for letting that one get away, and at Josh Beckett for not yet really getting his act together.

Well, the best part of baseball is that you get to do it all over again the next night. Bartolo Colon tries to bounce back from a rough outing against Garrett Olson at 7:05pm. Go Sox.

Ugh

Sometimes, games are just so bad, it's better not to dwell on them lest you develop some type of mild PTSD as a resultt. Yesterday was one of those games. Suffice it to say I feel fortunate I didn't pay StubHub money for that one.

Sentences came down from mlb for the brawl, and they are a complete joke. Coco probably got what was coming to him, but Jon Lester surely didn't deserve a suspension for plunking a guy with a curve that the ump didn't even think was intentional. And the Rays' suspensions? Please! James Shields deserves a longer suspension than Coco IMO-it's more ok to hit the guy than to defend yourself, evidently-and Jonny Goon-er, Gomes-should have had ten games minimim. Carl Crawford only got four games for piling it on after Coco was already on the ground, but maybe Coco's "little girl" characterization make Watson more lenient. After all, he didn't really hurt anyone, even if he did fly in from left field to pound on a guy when he was down. Idiot.

Let's right the ship tonight. Wake against Batista, 3:55pm. A Fox game, so prepare your remotes for lots of muting.