Hey, Ma! Can the Texas Rangers come over and play every day? Please? While I'd love nothing more this fine morning than to wax poetic about the resurgence of David Ortiz or the ass-kickery of Kevin Youkilis-and they were both brilliant, along with just about everyone else in the lineup the past couple of days-it's all tempered by the fact that this was, after all, against the Texas Rangers, a team that is probably scouring the Employment Times for pitching help these days. The results were entertaining, if pretty predictable-kind of like watching a debate between Dan Quayle and the Dalai Lama, or reading a Harlequin romance.
Oh, and Dice-K? Dude, how the hell have you gotten to be 14-2??? Watching this guy pitch is like watching two trains going at each other full bore, headed for collision...and then one veers off at the last minute, avoiding a catastrophe. Gary Tanguay amused me by suggesting that maybe he puts so many on because he gets bored out there on the mound and wants to challenge himself. Who knows? But wasn't that one of Jon Lester's biggest problems for the past couple of years, before he found religion? Can you imagine what a monster Dice will be when he tightens it up a little bit?
Doc Holliday is up next, folks. Remember him? The last time he went up against the Sox, he lost a complete game shutout on a gift bobble by Vernon Wells. This Toronto team, who on paper have the league's best pitching staff, will be the best at-home test of the post-Manny Red Sox. I don't foresee any nine-run innings tonight. But I'll take a win.
Speaking of Manny, it appears a compromise was in order. You know what cracks me up most, though? All the company folk parroting the company line about Manny's ouster, telling us he's gone, it's for the best and we need to move on...still can't seem to get enough of reading and talking about him. Manny may need to get a restraining order from the Globe before it's over. And FWIW, folks...we'll never stop talking about the Manny trade in RSN. We're still debating Sparky Lyle and Jeff Bagwell, for crissakes.
Big news on the Pats' front with the signing of John Lynch to replace the injured Tank Williams, who I had a bad feeling about anyway. Yee-hawww!!! Vintage Pats' move, and it makes me feel a whole lot better about the secondary now than I did yesterday at this time. Welcome, John!! LET'S GO PATS!!!!!!!
Finally, in an unabashed bit of schadenfreude..it's really nice seeing the smile finally wiped off the faces of those insufferable Yankee fans, isn't it?