My Whatever World in Maine

Congrats, Ellen

Ellen DeGeneres has decided to join the millions of America who have decided to tie the knot (around their neck, as Prof. Higgins would say) with longtime partner Portia de Rossi. I've heard it rumored they will be doing so in the set of Ellen's TV show now that gay marriage is legal again in California. Well, good for her. I'm not a big fan of Ellen's in general-afternoon talk shows bore me-but if she wants to get married and do so in a public forum, more power to her. It's her show, after all, and she should be allowed to marry a monkey there if she feels like it.

What is alternately amusing and pathetic is all the righteous indignation that has once again stirred up amongst some of those those who call themselves "conservative Christians" (and probably Muslims, too, although as Richard Land reminds us time and again, "we are a Christian nation." So, fuck the Muslim indignation). They are utterly convinced that the god of their bible (who, in his name, enables ethnic cleansing, commits infanticide, and throws his own son under the bus) gets all riled up over who we have sex with or marry. It's just insanity, especially when in general they base their antipathy on a couple of passages from the Holiness Codes in Leviticus and the letters of Paul-very conveniently ignoring the fact that the Holiness Codes also contain indications that, according to god, a field can't be harvested to the edge, tattoos are forbidden, and you can't weave two types of yarn into the same cloth. Bigamy, however, is ok. Christians also tactfully overlook the fact that Paul himself had some long and, shall we say, apparently quite intimate relationships with men a bit younger than himself. They probably weren't really very bright, but oh, they had great pecs and long eyelashes.

Hypocritical garbage. Bottom line? It's really all bullshit, more about mind control and the control of sexual behavior than religion. Besides, conservative Christians, isn't Ellen going to hell for this anyway? Shouldn't that be punishment enough for you all?   

A Sheep in Wolf's Clothing

Just in case you yourself didn't know, this is what George Bush and John McCain have accused Barack Obama of wanting to do. Just substitute "Israel" for "Czechoslovakia", and a Mahmoud Ahmandinejad wolf for the Hitler wolf and you get the basic idea:

I cannot say this enough times: Fuck you, George, and your whole murderous cadre of toadying liars.

Now, moving on, let's get one thing straight here: I don't like Chris Matthews usually-at least, not his style. But after this exchange last night, he gets a lifetime pass from me, ala Curt Schilling:

Talk about shooting fish in a barrel...what was great about this is not the fact that Matthews exposed Kevin James as a blowhard, because that's pretty obvious to even the most casual listeners of right wing talk radio. But Matthews, in a "you're no Jack Kennedy" moment, recognized he had an opportunity to expose not just the jaw dropping ignorance of one talk show host but the entire dogmatic culture of certainty house of cards upon which the whole right wing neocon movement is built. It's clear Kevin James-and, by extension, the rest of the Republican-sympathetic populace-didn't know what he was talking about, which is exactly what these fascists are banking on and have banked on for years-a pathetically ignorant, gullible electorate who never heard of the Munich Dictate but are lazily willing to agree that 2+2=5. If somebody had had the balls to do to Dick Cheney or Colin Powell in 2002 what Matthews did to James last night, we might not be in Iraq today.

Oh, and for the record, had Matthews pulled me off the street and into the studio...I would have known the answer to that very simple question-imagine that, Kevin, a liberal, underpaid state employee-and I don't even have my own talk show.

20th Maine Company B Lives On

For all who are interested in military or Civil War history, I attended an interesting graveside funeral a couple of weeks ago (Gennie's mistress, actually, who died in February but of course we couldn't have a graveside service then). The interred over the last 15 years or so of her life had become very interested in the story of Joshua Chamberlain, and had become a minor celebrity in the central Maine area by her appearances at historical and political events in the garb of Sarah Chamberlain, mother of Joshua. This was all made possible by her participation in the Company B 20th Maine, an organization that calls itself "a living history group dedicated to preserving the memory of Maine civil War volunteers."  Joshua Chamberlain and the 20th Maine were, of course, immortalized by the battle of Gettysburg and the 1993 epic of the same name.

My sister-in-law grabbed some photos of the company in full garb that they were kind enough to pose for after the funeral:

 

You can view the funeral photos and other albums of events posted by the 20th Maine Co. B here.

George's Personal Sacrifice

Keith was in rare form last night. You go, my friend.

Mr. Bush, at long last, has it not dawned on you that the America you have now created, includes "cold-blooded killers who will kill people to achieve their political objectives?" They are those in — or formerly in — your employ, who may yet be charged some day with war crimes.

You can see the rest below. (Golf, George? You gave up golf? Well, that's more than you've asked your friends to give up, for sure.)

Here's another, more direct version of what the Commander in Chief is saying to our troops:

Back at you, you miserable son of a bitch.

Eddy Arnold, 1918-2008

You wouldn't really think the death of the old country and gospel singer would mean that much to me, especially. He was nearly ninety years old, after all, and as far as I'm concerned there's a special kind of hell reserved just for the propagators of country music. It makes my ears bleed. Interestingly, though, I am able to hum the tune and recite the lyrics to nearly all of the best known Eddy Arnold songs, such as:

I'm sending you a big bouquet of roses
One for every time you broke my heart
And as the door of love between us closes
Tears will fall like petals when we part

and:

How many arms have held you and hated to let you go
How many how many I wonder but I really don't want to know
How many lips have kissed you and set your soul aglow
How many how many I wonder but I really don't want to know

as well as:

Make the world go away and get it off my shoulder
Say the things you used to say and make the world go away

Why is that, you ask? Well, because my father was a huge Eddy Arnold fan, and I grew up on Eddy's LP's playing nearly day and night on the old turntable in the living room. So, I mourn the death of Eddy today-even though the music may make me cringe, it still brings a smile of remembrance and nostalgia and makes me think of Dad.

RIP, Mr. Arnold. And be sure to look up Gordon when you get to where you're going next. He was a big fan of yours.

The Presumptive Nominee?

Perhaps. The timber of this campaign has taken a decidedly different turn since Tuesday, as Sen. Clinton seems to be on more of a farewell tour than a campaign stop these days. I'm wondering what role she has left to play in the days leading up to June 3rd. Clearly, she will do what is expected of her when the time comes, which is to stand on stage with Barack Obama and endorse him as her party's nominee, at which point the disparate factions that have splintered off during this nominating process need to come together. I don't worry too much about losing the votes of people who don't like African-Americans, because most people who wouldn't vote for an African-American for president also wouldn't vote for a woman, so clearly John McCain has the bigot vote sewn up. Congratulations on that score, Sen. McCain. I do worry somewhat about the vote of the over-65 crowd (especially the white women) that so clearly preferred Hillary as their nominee, but still, in the end, I don't see them breaking in great numbers for McCain because they are also some of the most ardent critics of perpetuating the illegal war, which is practically McCain's whole platform. Well, that and courting gay-baiting racists, of course-which is a big plus with looney, pseudo-Christian, gay-phobic Republican voters (most of the GOP base) but may not go over so big with Hillary's natural constituency.

(Just a reminder here of who John McCain really is and what he supports, or at least what he will swallow in order to get votes. I'd like to know why this hasn't been played on CNN 24/7. Maybe because a grandfatherly white "preacher" is less threatening to white Americans than a fiery black one, no matter how vicious and ugly the message? Hmmmm? Although I think that was pretty much confirmed by the ascent of Falwell and Dobson-merely far right political front men masquerading as men of the cloth-a long time ago. Unfortunately, I think the reason it hasn't gotten the play of Rev. Wright is that it really isn't news-this is simply what the news media and the American public have come to expect from the so-called evangelical Christian clergy and their devoted, braindead followers. Hate mongers? Check. Gay bashers? Check. Racists, war hawks, and hypocrites? Check, check, and check. So what's to report?)

The other thing I'm wondering is...what about Bill? Did he irreparably burn bridges with some of his most ardent supporters, or can he turn himself back into an asset in this campaign? My guess is that most of the country long ago forgave him his many faults, and they will forgive him this as well-we are, at heart, a Bill-loving nation and wish to remain so. It will be very nice, though, to hear him turn it back on the Republicans instead of the guy who has long been unofficially acknowledged as his party's nominee. And you know he will.

Finally, some advice to Barack Obama: please, please, please don't go the way of Al Gore in this campaign. Don't allow "consultants" to turn you into something you aren't. Please be yourself and tell your story and show us the FDR side of you that garnered you this nomination in the first place. At the same time, you have to learn that these people whom you are up against are ugly and hateful and prey on division, and are in unabated collective orgasm over the prospect of an African-American opponent. (the only thing that would make them more joyous is if we'd nominated Barney Frank.) Become intimately acquainted with the vicious, racist campaign run against Harold Ford (a Blue Dog Democrat) in Tennessee. You will need to go at them with both barrels if you are going to win this fight, or at least find yourself people who will. Take a hard lesson from Bob Kraft and Spygate, and from Sen. Kerry-the more you try to ignore and "not justify" the ugliest allegations, the worse it gets for you. Sen. McCain-no stranger to the smear campaign himself-learned that the hard way a long time ago. Now you need to understand it, too.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Backyard Visitor

One of the reasons I know global warming is a real and true phenomenon is that the once-ubiquitous blue jays have all but disappeared from my neighborhood, and I can only assume it is because they have travelled north to a climate more to their liking. They seem to have been replaced by cardinals, like this one outside my window this morning. The pretty red birds are not quite yet what you would call ubiquitous, but they are certainly more plentiful than they were just a few short years ago.

I miss the preening, cackling jays. Cardinals are just as beautiful but don't seem to have the same attitude.   

Rich in Meaning

I love, love, love Frank Rich.

Yet the holier-than-thou politicians and pundits on the right passing shrill moral judgment over every Democratic racial skirmish are almost never asked to confront or even acknowledge the racial dysfunction in their own house. In our mainstream political culture, this de facto apartheid is simply accepted as an intractable given, unworthy of notice, and just too embarrassing to mention aloud in polite Beltway company. Those who dare are instantly accused of “political correctness” or “reverse racism.”

An all-white Congressional delegation doesn’t happen by accident. It’s the legacy of race cards that have been dealt since the birth of the Southern strategy in the Nixon era. No one knows this better than Mr. McCain, whose own adopted daughter of color was the subject of a vicious smear in his party’s South Carolina primary of 2000.

Read the rest here. You'll be screaming, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" by the end of it too.

Cindy With a "C"

Lots of chatter around the internet about the guy in the audience of a town hall meeting who asked John McCain if he really did call his wife a cunt in front of his campaign workers in 1992. McCain sidestepped the question, saying that that sort of language wasn't fit for all those nice people at the meeting to hear-which doesn't explain why it was ok for him to say it in front of God and everybody, but whatever. Here's what he really wanted to say:

Anyway, people...relax. At least this time, he wasn't telling a lie.