A Red Sox State of Maine

Tigers Tamed

Dice-K's wilder than a hawk, as my mother would say, and Craig Hansen still may not be ready for primetime. Jacoby Ellsbury goes 0-for-5. It was the definition of winning ugly, but still, the Sox made it look relatively easy. Are the Tigers just not who we thought they were going to be? Where's that vaunted pitching staff? Bonderman, the best of the group so far, gave up four runs in six innings last night, and the always-interesting Todd Jones gave up Papi's 6th homer in the ninth.

The natives are getting restless in Motown, and I don't blame them. Any other night when you get ten free passes, you should win the game. But Dice saved his own bacon by not giving up a hit until the 4th inning. You got lucky tonight, Dice-K. Let's try and not let that happen too many times.

The Sox are cruising right now, looking like they did in mid-April before their bats all caught the flu. Mike Lowell is getting back into form, Ortiz is back to being Ortiz, Youk is on fire, Manny in a bit of a power drought but still being very productive. Even J.D. got two hits last night. Great time for it to happen, going on the road to towns notoriously unfriendly to the men in red socks (remember the Tiger sweep right before the break last year? No, me neither).

In other news, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's....Jason Giambi? Nope, it's Roger Clemens, issuing the standard non-apology apology for "mistakes" but still insisting it has not affected his credibility on the steroid issue. That's true, but only because he had no credibility on the steroid issue to begin with. Roger, please. This is getting embarrassing, even for those of us who can't stand you. Give it up, drop the suit, and then just go away. Officially announce your retirement, and then come out and make the happy rounds in 2013. It would be far less painful for everyone involved.

Wake takes the mound looking for win #3 tonight, and C's vs Cavs in round #2. To coin a phrase, guys, let's show these midwesterners how we do things downtown.

With Apologies to Dr. King

I have a dream today...that the nine batters in the Boston Red Sox will someday, someday score more than two runs in a game, that they will make an effort to support the amazing efforts of their starting pitchers, and that it might actually happen before I make my trek down to see them on May 18.

Yes, I have a dream today.

C'mon, guys. This is getting beyond pathetic and heading straight towards bullshit territory.  Clay Buchholz is pitching tonight, and in the immortal words of Molly Bell, YOU OWE HIM! (C'mon, the Neil Diamond-loving RSN has to know who Molly Bell is!) Rookie or no, he is well within his rights to kick every single one of you in the ass if you hang him out to dry the way you did last weekend. It is time, men, to sack it up and scoring some effin' runs. Past time. Because if it doesn't start now, at home, how the hell are you going to get hot in Detroit and Minnesota?

The only thing that makes this slightly more bearable is that the Yankees are punching one way tickets to Loserville as well. Nothing makes my blue eyes...well, less blue than a sweep of the Bombers in the Bronx, which is what the resurgent Tigers did the last three games. 'Way to go, guys! With newly-contracted Posada out for god knows how long (I'd never wish an injury on a guy but I don't mind taking advantage of one), wunderkid Hughes out until at least July (conveniently, actually, considering he sucks), Ian Kennedy not living up to expectations and ARod sidelined for at least a couple of weeks as well, the Yanks have fallen on hard times as of late. Good-but it means the Sox have to make hay while the sun shines, because without that big early-season last season there would have been no division title. All together now, peeps: GAMES IN APRIL AND MAY ARE IMPORTANT!

Finally, as word trickles out that Roger Clemens had not just one girlfriend but a harem, (oh, and as an aside, way to go, Mailman-not just a pedophile but a deadbeat dad as well) you have to wonder what it is that he has on Jose Canseco-all that nonsense in the book about how Clemens never cheated on his wife, his "misremembering" Clemens' appearance at the party, and now his professed amazement that Clemens was, in fact, a hound just like himself. it seems very odd, because Canseco has been more than willing to throw everybody else under the bus, including himself-so what gives? All I can figure is, Clemens has some dope (no pun intended) on Canseco that could put him away in a federal pen for a long, long time. That's the only explanation there is.

Back to Fenway, Clay vs. that pest Edwin Jackson again tonight. Runs, guys? Runs would be really, really nice.

What About Roger?

"Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two, several sources have told the Daily News."-NY Daily News, 4/28/08

Sheesh. Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?

In the interest of fairness, it should be noted that the Daily News-never a paragon of journalistic integrity and most days just a scintilla above the Post-reported these allegations citing "unnamed sources," reporterspeak for "it's too good not to go with but I've got nothing on record to back it up." But team Clemens has already issued a denial that soundes very much like "he didn't do it but just in case he did do it it isn't relevant to the case at hand":

Roger Clemens' lawyer Rusty Hardin, speaking for Clemens, denied that his client's long-term relationship with country singer Mindy McCready involved sex.

"But Hardin also emphasized that an affair would be irrelevant to the defamation suit his client has filed against Brian McNamee, the trainer who accused Clemens of using steroids and human growth hormone."

"I think it's totally irrelevant to the issue of whether Brian McNamee is telling the truth about Roger using human growth hormone and steroids," said Hardin. "The character trait that you put in issue should be the character trait that the defamatory statement was made about."

In other words, character can be compartmentalized-just because I'm a serial rapist doesn't mean I pass bad checks, too, or kick my dog. Well, good luck with that one, Rusty. Maybe your client just misremembers...but even if he remembers it crystally clear, he is at least guilty of one of the most incredible lapses of judgment in the history of the world. Christ, Roger, what the hell are people supposed to think when a wealthy 30 year old man takes a pretty teenager to Vegas in his private plane, or sends her wads of cash? That he was interested in her talents as a babysitter?

What an idiot. At least Margo Adams was of age.

All this brings me back to something I've been thinking about for a very long time now: Roger Clemens' relationship to the Boston Red Sox and their fans. What, exactly, is the nature of that relationship? Estranged lovers? Mortal enemies? I only ask because I've been mulling over the thorny issue of Clemens' #21-why, if the relationship is destroyed beyond all repair, are the Sox still jealously guarding that number as if it were plated in gold? Even before he was outed as a confirmed drug user and now as a possible pedophile, Roger Clemens was very upfront about the fact that he simply had no interest in reconciling with the Red Sox-he has repeatedly rebuffed the team's efforts at outreach, preferring, instead, to return "home" to Yankee Stadium and it's bottomless money pit for his shot at another ring in what he must have known was his last big league season.  So why the charade, clinging to the number on the jersey like a war bride who wears her ring and still waits for her MIA soldier husband to walk through the door over a decade later? 

I think part of it is that the team knows whomever is christianed as the new bearer of the 21 is going to truly bearing the burden of history, and may simply be crushed under the weight of it. It's really too bad that Josh Beckett had to give up his #21 when he came to the Red Sox, because he is one guy whom the number would not intimidate and in fact would probably just motivate. But maybe it shouldn't be a pitcher. A position player-not an Ellsbury or Lowrie upon whom a lot of hope rests-but a guy for whom there would really be no big expectations for performance? That seems to make more sense. Sean Casey, an easygoing and intelligent guy, probably would have been a good candidate. Journeyman, first baseman, been around and would not feel the weight of the nation on his shoulders. Someone like that.

In any event, a little ceremony must be performed before the number is again allowed to grace another member of the team after so many years. Late at night, in the dark of the clubhouse, have an old Irish priest with a heart condition take the jersey, sprinkle some little holy water and repeat "The power of Christ compels you!" until Captain Howdy's-er, Roger Clemens'-spirit has been exorcised from the shirt and thus the psyche of the Boston Red Sox. Then find some innocent and assign him the number, to little fanfare. It's time-in fact, t's beyond time for the Red Sox and their fans to extend their arms, open their hands, and let Roger Clemens' ghost go.

A Reflection of Republican Partisanship

So, the Republican lapdogs on the committee Wednesday didn't really care about Brian McNamee's "lies, lies and more lies!" He would have been just as viciously attacked if he were the risen savior with the stigmata to prove it and a chorus of angels at his right hand. They didn't even care if Roger Clemens-a "baseball titan" in Burton's fawning, insincere words- was outside the Congress selling meth to four-year-olds and passing counterfeit $20s. They found out he was a Republican, and not only a Republican, but a buddy of Dubya's-the lord and master of "lies, lies and more lies!"

“I don’t think, quite frankly, that they anticipated quite the solid wall on the Republican side, the defense of Clemens,” Souder said Wednesday of the Democratic members of the panel. Speaking of Clemens, he added, “It wasn’t an accident that word got to me that he’s a Republican, or he said that President Bush called him.”

Ahhh, cronyism-the mark of a true right winger! So Roger Clemens is a Republican. Why am I not surprised? The fact that he was too stupid to know what the word "vegan" meant should have been one tip-off. The fact that he thought he could get away with bald faced lies is another.

A Republican staff member of the committee, who was granted anonymity because he was not authorized to speak about the hearings, said the partisanship arose Wednesday more because of Waxman than because of Republican support for Clemens. Waxman is a tough Democrat who can take on a prosecutorial tone, he said, and some of the Republicans reflexively did not want to help him.

Some Republicans also thought it was good for them to argue that the Democratic-controlled Congress was wasting time with baseball. That was a theme on Fox TV news coverage Wednesday, even as the news channel broadcast hours of coverage of the hearing.

“Only Congress could take a Clemens-McNamee controversy and turn it into a political controversy,” Earl Ward, a lawyer for McNamee, said after the hearing.

Honest to freaking God. Republicans proved from 1992-2000 that they would bully and block and stall anything that might be construed as something useful a Democrat could do (just as one example, Republicans were on strict orders per Robert Dole to kill any health care initiatives coming from the White House, leading to the health care crisis of today), and this is just more of the same. Only this time, thankfully, they only did damage to themselves (did even Clemens himself look half the buffoon that Dan Burton or Chris Shays did?) not the entire country.

I tend to think any elected official with an (R) after his or her name is the definition of imbecile (not to mention the ones at home who vote for them) but apparently there were a couple who took their job seriously enough to actually read the depositions beforehand and even one-Mark Souder of Indiana-who refused Clemens' unethical bribery calls earlier in the week. I'm all about giving credit where credit is due, and kudos to them.

As for Dan Burton and his ilk, well, before you get your panties too much in a wad over their blatant politization of a supposedly bipartisan investigation, just remember these are the same guys who smeared an injured 12 year old boy and his family for political gain last year. With that track record, and considering the Mitchell Report was commissioned in part to stem the growing epidemic of kids doping, you couldn't expect them to take a principled stand against the very face of steroid use now, could you? Not when there's political hay to be made!

If you voted for Dan Burton, Chris Shays, Virginia Foxx, etc...all I can say is, the best you deserve is a lobotomy. You've done young athletes everywhere a grave disservice.   

Roger Clemens Commits Perjury

...and Dan Burton reminds us why we should never, EVER vote Republican. EVER. Did you see that arrogant display? Now, Burton is from Indiana, so I don't think he's representing a lot of Yankee fans. But Republicans will always bury their nose in the ass of the guy with the most money, and smear with impunity if they don't like what someone is saying. So faster than you could say "Valerie Plame," Burton was attacking McNamee's character rather than asking him questions about the truth. What a charade. To McNamee's credit, he sat there and took it, with a bemused look on his face, not only from Burton but from every other Republican on the committee. What I'd like to know is, where has all this Republican righteous indignation over lies been the past seven years? Evidently, lying about who used steroids when is more important than lying about national security or hiring practices in the Justice Department.

That was only fifteen minutes in an afternoon of high drama. If you thought Clemens was innocent before-or were trying to give him the benefit of the doubt-you'd have to be braindead to be holding that opinion after that performance. The Roider looked like a kid who got caught with the test answers on his arm in the principal's office-he stuttered, licked his lips, fidgeted, avoided answering questions, gave non answers when pressed, talked about what a patriot he is, patted himself on the back (endlessly), threw his wife under the bus, blamed his mother  for using "B-12", and went as close to the line as he possibly could without calling Andy Pettitte a liar. He looked like a complete slime. As one of the analysts on sports radio just said "Roger came out looking bloody." 

McNamee on the other hand, no matter how awful he looked (and he did look bad on a few occasions), answered the questions asked of him, directly and immediately. No squirming, no tangents, no obfuscation. He looked nervous at times, but he took the abuse and answered the questions. 

Among the "highlights"...

Elijah Cummings says Andy Pettitte testified that Roger Clemens told him he was using HGH several  years ago, around 1999-2000. Clemens says Pettitte "misremembers," that Pettitte mistook a conversation about three old men on the TV to mean Roger took HGH. Uh-huh. That makes sense. Andy's not a liar, he just has Alzheimer's disease. Then after sending his minions out a few weeks out to play down the nature of their relationship, Clemens insists that they were so close that Pettitte would have consulted him before Pettitte used HGH in 2002, had he known.

Roger Clemens and his "people" engaged in witness tampering prior to the hearing, by contacting his ex-nanny-who he hadn't seen since 2001-to try and coach her testimony about his being at a party at Jose Canseco's house. And THEN he has the absolute brass balls to say he was trying to "help" the committee! Oh, my freaking God, Roger! HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!? (Pretty stupid, apparently.) This alone should get Roger a stint in the big house IMO.

According to testimony, Brian McNamee injected Debbie Clemens with HGH in the Clemens' bedroom without Roger knowing about it. It's very unbelievable to me that he would be OK with his trainer (who had been accused of rape in the past) and his wife being in the bedroom behind closed doors without knowing what was going on. Clemens apparently held such a complete trust in McNamee and felt that his integrity was so impeccable that he could trust him in such a situation. Frankly, I wouldn't've trusted Brian McNamee to walk my dog, but Roger would like us to believe he had no clue what he was doing in there with Debbie.

During the Terri Schiavo debacle, we learned that erstwhile Sen. Bill Frist-a physician-believed he could diagnose persistent vegetative state by watching a videotape. Now we have learned that Rep. Virginia Foxx (another Republican Clemens butt-kisser who is not a physician) believes she can discern the use of PEDs by looking at four different photographs. Next thing, we'll find out that Theo Epstein diagnosed Schilling's shoulder problems by using a Crazy Eight ball.

You apparently can, though, diagnose steroid injections from an MRI. Nice call there, Rep. Lynch ( a Democrat, duh!)

Two guys I would take a bullet for: Elijah Cummings and Henry Waxman. If the Roider thought he was going to get some special consideration (from the Democrats, anyway-the Republicans were too busy asking him what uniform he would wear to the HOF and asking about his workout regimen) because "I'm Gumby, dammit!" then he was dissuaded of that notion when Cummings told him to stop mumbling at the beginning of the hearings, and Waxman told him to shut up at the end.

Some days, it's just not enough to be Gumby, as Roger found out today. Especially when you end up like Mr. Bill.   

Roid Roundup

From Newsday:

The affidavit of Yankees pitcher Andy Pettitte helps to support the account of Brian McNamee, Roger Clemens' former trainer, that he gave Clemens injections of banned drugs, according to a ranking member of the congressional committee investigating the use of illegal drugs in baseball.

Newsday.com first reported the story Monday night after interviewing Rep. Tom Davis (R-Va.) Monday. Davis said that in an affidavit given to the House Oversight Committee, Pettitte's account matches McNamee's in most details, but that in a separate affidavit to the committee Clemens said both are mistaken.

According to sources, McNamee has told investigators that in the winter of 2002 he, Clemens and Pettitte were working out together at the gym in Clemens' Houston home. The sources said McNamee claims that during a break in the workout, Pettitte went over to McNamee by himself and asked: "How come you don't give me the stuff you give Roger?" McNamee supposedly replied, "Because it's illegal."

Pettitte admitted that McNamee eventually gave him shots of human growth hormone (HGH), according to the Mitchell Report on the use of steroids in baseball.

Clemens, however, in his affidavit, said Pettitte is mistaken in thinking that in their conversations about medications he was referring to steroids or HGH.

And I absolutely love this part, where Clemens throws his wife under the bus:

"According to the account told to the AP, the affidavit said Clemens responded by saying Pettitte misunderstood the previous exchange in 1999 or 2000 and that, in fact, Clemens had been talking about HGH use by his wife in the original conversation."

I'm convinced the Pats lost the SB as divine penance for all of New England's unadulterated glee at watching Clemens stubbornly and laboriously dig his own professional grave (God's a Yankee fan, you know). I was hoping maybe some speck of humanity on my part would shine through and I'd begin to angst over what this is doing to the sport I love-but no such luck. I'm hopeless. It would make my year to see Roger Clemens' fat ass tossed into the joint over this. I hope they ship his snooty wife's ass there, too.  Does that make me pathetic and bitter? Yeah, maybe. But I don't care. I'm getting FAR too much pleasure over this to let it go because reveling in it makes me look bad.

I wonder if Andy will come visit them? They might be looking for some prison ministry about then.

From SI.com:

"Rocker said that doctors from management and the players' association, following a spring training talk with the Texas Rangers about steroids and other topics, pulled himself, A-Rod, Rafael Palmeiro and Ivan Rodriguez aside. Rocker was with the Rangers in 2002.

"Look guys, if you take one kind of steroid, you don't triple stack them and take them 10 months out of the year like Lyle Alzado did," Rocker said the doctors told them. "If you do it responsibly, it's not going to hurt you."

If this is true, then Selig and Fehr are in a world of hurt here. They have denied knowing about it in front of Congress-now Rocker is saying that not only did they know, they encouraged it's use? Ask Barry Bonds how much Congress likes being lied to, guys.

From MSNBC:

Clemens and McNamee will be the focus of Wednesday’s congressional hearing about the Mitchell Report, with Andy Pettitte spared having to deliver public testimony that could damage his former teammate.

“I guess it’s showtime, isn’t it?” said Clemens’ lead lawyer, Rusty Hardin.

Pettitte, former Clemens teammate Chuck Knoblauch and convicted steroids distributor Kirk Radomski were taken off the list of those testifying. One new witness was added Monday: a lawyer who worked with former Senate majority leader George Mitchell to produce December’s report on drugs in baseball.

The news reported tonight that there were only a handful of committee members and a lot of empty media seats in the House today while medical experts testified about the different kinds of PEDs available to ballplayers and how they're used. Wanna bet that's not the case tomorrow? SRO. I'd pay to see that, although I may not have to...I've sworn off ESPN, though...bah! I have no principle! I'll be working from home most of the day tomorrow, and if it's being shown somewhere I will see it!

Finally, in a sure sign that he's really arrived as an asshole, Rusty Hardin made "Worst Persons" last night...

No Longer a He Said/He Said?

This story is getting weirder by the minute. You mean to tell me that Brian McNamee held on to bloody gauze and syringes for seven years?  “Who in their right mind does such a thing?” asked Clemens' lawyer Lanny Breuer, and he's got a point. Ewwwww!!! Afterwards, though, the Clemens team continued the politics of personal destruction, again trying to paint McNamee as a liar, a rapist, and an emotionally disturbed man. Hasn't worked yet, fellas. You might need to dig up Lee Atwater if you're going to continue down this path.

Still, it surely raises the stakes for the Roider, who evidently perjured himself Tuesday during a closed-door deposition prior to his big Capitol Hill showdown next week. His buddy Andy Pettitte spoke the day before.

No immediate reaction from Clemens himself, other than to say he had suffered a "wardrobe malfunction" and needed to be excused to change his pants and underwear.

Mets Win

Well, it looks like the Santana Wars are over. Finally. I'm not sure Bill Smith did his team any favors here-in fact, the baseball punditry seems to think he got hosed. But that's what happens when you play chicken sometimes. I don't pretend to understand a whole lot about the Mets farm system, but it seems to me that Phil Hughes by himself would have been worth more than what the Twins got for Santana. Two decent prospects and two fillers is how one of them described the package the Mets are sending. Carlos Gomez seems to be the guy with the most immediate upside, a speedy CF'er (who I can't figure out why the Twins would prefer over Jacoby Ellsbury) who looks like the heir apparent to Torii Hunter, and Deolis Guerra, an 18-year-old who is the personification of "potential" and may be major league ready in five years. So much for all the yak that the Twins had to have a ML ready prospect as part of the trade. While I'm disappointed the Sox didn't land Santana, I'm not broken up about it. Even with some anticipated time spent on the DL by both Schilling and Wake this year, I still think the Sox have the horses to win them the division title. I don't think the Yankees do without Santana, although to their credit they didn't break into a panic and throw the baby out with the bath, either. I'm also kind of sad because I really do like Coco Crisp, and I'm sure he'll be traded now before spring training, but I'm glad Jacoby Ellsbury is staying with the team and hopefully Jon Lester can consistently show us why the team's been so high on all that "potential" for so long now.

In an ongoing case of schadenfrade, it appears that Andy Pettitte may be preparing to drop a dime on his old buddy Roger Clemens. It wouldn't make that much difference to me, of course-I think both Clemens AND Pettitte are lying about their steroid use-but wouldn't it be delicious fun to watch the Yankee fans implode and start turning on each other if indeed that prediction comes to fruition? It would be like a city wide episode of "War of the Roses." From perusing other fan sites, it actually seems that most of them have pretty much accepted the fact that the savior was a juicer from 'way back and are now trying to blame his use on his "upbringing" in Boston, or just trying to discredit the whole process that exposed their world champions (no, I won't provide links because I don't want to drive up their traffic. but they aren't hard to find).  What was really amusing in the recent media was the attempt to even discredit the fact that Clemens and Pettitte were once buddies. Yeah, they worked out together, did commercials together, Andy called Roger to please come play with him in Houston...but they're nothing more than teammates! Andy's drug use had nothing to do with Roger Clemens because they weren't even friends!

Spare me. Please.

The Truth Revealed?

I generally avoid reality shows like poison, as places brains go to die. But I would probably watch this.

Is Clemens Ready for His "Moment of Truth"?

The most popular new show on television is giving former Yankee pitcher Roger Clemens a chance to clear his good name -- and he can pocket a cool half mil in the process!

The FOX show "The Moment of Truth" -- which premiered to 23 million people on Wednesday -- sent a letter to the Rocket's manager, asking Roger to appear. Contestants on the show are asked a series of questions while hooked up to a polygraph machine -- and then have to own up to their answers in front of an audience comprised of their friends and relatives.

Howard Schultz, creator and Exec. Producer of the show, says Roger can put the steroids question to rest once and for all -- and donate his winnings to the charity of his choice. Schultz writes, "People have stood in awe at your incredible accomplishments in baseball. This show could let the world know that you are an incredibly courageous person, as well as to clear your name in front of a nationwide audience, all in the name of charity."

Calls to Clemens' management were not immediately returned.

And here's the letter they sent him.

Tainted Legend

I'm really looking forward to seeing "I Am Legend" some time soon, but until I do, I'll have to be satisfied with this

Yes, I know. But I'm very easily amused.